Impossible dream

Context changes everything, eh? Haha I feel kind of bad about it but oh well, at least you had hope for a couple of weeks~

Thanks for the anime suggestions! I probably won’t have time to watch anything in the nearest week but at least I know there’s something out there, waiting for me. I’m going to Korea and then to Poland this week so it’ll be a bit hectic. I haven’t seen my family since September! And my fiance for more than a year haha! But apart from lazying around with my sister and parents, I plan to get a lot done. I have finished revising the script for the prologue and it’s being translated to Japanese right now! It’s very exciting for me~

I also had a fantastic tea-time with Cam from 4Leaf studio, brainstorming the details for the project we’re working on together. It was a very productive session so yay! I was also able to work on the drawings for this one which makes me happy. I have no idea where all my free time is going, honestly. There’s just not enough ugh.

I keep reading all the comments but it’s still hard to find the time to reply to everything, sorry about that. Well, I hope you guys still enjoy the comic! See you next week!

60 comments on “Impossible dream”

  1. Dragon Master Reply

    Is it just me or maybe it’s the dress or something, but Ada’s bust size seems to be a bit larger in her imagination than it does in reality. … Wait does that even make sense to anyone else?

    • NotImportant Reply

      This is Robert’s wish, so yeah, it makes perfect sense lol
      Not intentional though, I honestly don’t pay much attention. So sorry for random boob sizes guys!

      • Randominput Reply

        Don’t breasts grow during pregnancy? I’d just call this a happy accident myself.

      • JW Reply

        Is this Robert’s fantasy, or what Ada thinks is Robert’s fantasy?

        I hadn’t really noticed a size difference; can’t really say even now how much is just due to the difference in clothing style or actual difference in size.

      • Refugnic Reply

        @JW In my opinion, this would be Ada’s impression on what she thinks Robert wants.
        On which account she may of course be gravely mistaken…it would help if she would talk with him, about what he wants and what she wants.
        You know, just to see if it can work…instead of leaving him in suspense all the time.

        But then again, when has this kind of topic ever been resolved rationally and efficiently?
        It wouldn’t be much fun either if they acted all mature about it, would it now?

        • JW Reply

          It wouldn’t be much fun either if they acted all mature about it, would it now?

          It could be fun. It could be something I think is fun.
          But wouldn’t fit these characters.

        • antrik Reply

          @Refugnic I don’t think she’s making this up… If they haven’t discussed it outright, at least he must have made it pretty clear that this is his model for life.

          And it’s not the kind of conflict you can resolve by talking about it more…

      • Refugnic Reply

        How would you resolve it then, @antrik?
        By not talking about it? Pretending the problem doesn’t exist?

        Right now, we have a ‘bottle’ situation.
        Each of them has their own thoughts about the situation and they’re both hurting from it, but they don’t want to talk about it, because they fear that it will hurt the other more (or they are scared of the other’s reaction).
        Meaning, they bottle up…and I think we all know what happens to a bottle if you keep putting stuff in and adding more and more pressure.

        The real question in this kind of situation is, how long it will take until the bottle bursts…and how bad the resulting mess is going to be.

        • JW Reply

          and I think we all know what happens to a bottle if you keep putting stuff in and adding more and more pressure.

          You get fizzy water!

        • antrik Reply

          @Refugnic well, the conflict actually seems to be at two different levels: at the fundamental level, they seem to have a very different outlook on life (or something along these lines; it’s not 100% clear) — which is likely an unresolvable conflict. And I suspect they talked about it enough to both know this.

          On top of that, they have different ideas how to deal with the situation: that’s what the latest argument was about. Robert seems to believe that if she loved him, they should be together, no matter what — even if it doesn’t fit his ideal of a happy relationship. Ada seems to believe that he shouldn’t give up his ideal and “settle” on her…

          I guess it’s possible that they haven’t talked about that part openly enough — but I think it’s just as possible that they talked about it over and over, and just didn’t find any common ground… I can’t really tell either way.

    • Refugnic Reply

      I think it’s mostly the dress.
      It hangs more loosely than the rather tight shirt she’s wearing in the main timeline, which allows it to bulge, giving the impression of there being more than there actually is.

      But of course I’m not a fashion expert, so I could well be mistaken.

      • antrik Reply

        I’m thinking the opposite: the rather baggy shirt she is presently wearing obscures this a bit — but checking some other pages (especially the very first ones, where she is wearing a much more revealing top), she is clearly very “well endowed”. (*Extremely* well indeed for such a slim person…)

        PS. What a waste: such ample breasts on someone who apparently never intends to use them for their designated purpose 😉

        • JW Reply

          (*Extremely* well indeed for such a slim person…)

          Well, she’s small, so obviously they’d look big by comparison. 😛

      • Refugnic Reply

        Well, as I said, I’m not a fashion expert.
        And even though it has been brought up, I still can’t see much of a difference myself, which is why I attributed it to an optical illusion.

  2. Ian Reply

    Is it just me that is thinking that Ada doesn’t want to “be” with Rob beacause she can’t have kids in some way and due to that considers herself “unworthy” or something?
    Also guessing her possible infertility is connected to some traumatic event in her past….welp only time will tell

    Great art as always NI :3

    • JW Reply

      IMO that doesn’t really fit with the “because that’s just not me”. That makes it sound to me like she has different goals in her life than settle down and raise a couple of kids.

      • Ian Reply

        I mean both work fine with the that jsut isn’t me, if she is self concious about it that’s porbably how she’d act ( i guess) also just wanted to add my lil theory here

      • JW Reply

        If the problem were infertility the sentence would go “[..] that’s just .. impossible”
        Now, if there had only been the first sentence, then I’d have definitely considered it a plausible theory, but not when it’s followed by that second one.

    • antrik Reply

      Well, to me it seems pretty clear that she simply doesn’t *want* to have kids.

      As for the general notion that this is what keeps her from entering a romantic relationship with him, it certainly does look like that right now… But I’m not sure what to think of it.

      I *have* been suspecting for a long time that she might have feelings that she is suppressing for some reason — and this seems like a likely confirmation… Yet I’m wondering, is this really it, the true reason why she won’t be with him? Conflicting long-term plans? Would that really stop her from entering a relationship at all, if she has strong feelings for him? Could anyone have such a strong resolve? Even when acknowledging that this *is* a common cause of breakups, wouldn’t people in general go for it anyway, hoping it will work out somehow, blinded by love?…

      • JW Reply

        wouldn’t people in general go for it anyway, hoping it will work out somehow, blinded by love?

        I suspect so.
        But then again, Ada seems like the overthinking type that wouldn’t start something she feels doomed from the start.

        • qu Reply

          Overthinking doesn’t necessarily stop people from following their desires — it just means they will feel bad about doing it, knowing on an intellectual level that it’s wrong; and consequently, likely go about what they are doing in a half-hearted manner…

          Speaking from experience here.

          • antrik

            Woah, how did I manage to garble the “Name” field like that? 🙁 qu=antrik

          • JW

            Yeah, but Ada doesn’t seem like just any old overthinking type, but specifically the overthinking type that wouldn’t start something she feels doomed from the start. That’s the impression I got from those high-school flashbacks, among other things.

      • antrik Reply

        In retrospect, it seems I wasn’t explicit enough here (or maybe I didn’t quite realise it myself): virtually all comments seem to assume that Ada’s “that’s not me” statement means she is just not a family person, but Robert is, and that’s why she doesn’t see a future with him, despite having romantic feelings… While that interpretation is very tempting — since it does give hope that they might find a way to make it work after all — I’m not so sure it’s the right interpretation: it seems equally plausible that she really doesn’t have romantic feelings, and her statement just means she isn’t the kind of person to settle for a relationship that would provide comfort, but no true passion on her side…

    • antrik Reply

      Upon further reflection, I’m not sure how literally we should read this vision. It might actually not be about the kids at all, but rather that she just doesn’t see her in this picture of “happy family life” in general.

      • JW Reply

        Maybe she just can’t picture herself in a blue dress. I’m sure Robert wouldn’t mind if she took it off, though 😛

          • JW

            She’s probably wearing something beneath the dress. Given that they’re at the beach, possibly a bathing suit. So it should be ok.

          • antrik

            I’m pretty sure they only came for a stroll, not for swimming or sunbathing, since they don’t have any towels or anything on them…

            Most likely she is wearing panties; but it doesn’t look like, nor would I expect her to be wearing a bra under this dress…

  3. Refugnic Reply

    ‘Hope for a few weeks’?
    Not really, I filed it under AU straight from the start.

    Not because I just don’t see it happening with these two, but…you know, with the whole ‘demon apocalypse’ thing going on and stuff, I don’t see ‘carefree times’ as pictured in the first panel happening any time soon.

    And even if they somehow defeat Faust and send the demon hordes back to where they came from, the damage will still be severe.
    It will take many years for mankind to recover…and after seeing the things they already have seen and even more so the things they will see…let’s put it this way, ‘happiness’ is for the generations to come, but likely not for them.

    Cause that’s going to leave a scar, likely both physically and most certainly mentally.
    PTSD, anyone?

    Oh and Ada: There are plenty of couples who are happy and don’t have children.
    Some of which can, by definition, never have children either, because it’s an interspecies connection (okay, not so much in this comic, but if you look at various other sources), but that doesn’t stop them from being together.

    But even if we leave the interspecies mating out of the equation, let’s look at the LGTB community.
    Those guys (and girls) cannot produce offspring with their partners.
    Just not possible. Period.
    Does that make them unhappy? Or ‘unworthy’ of happiness? I think not.

    Producing children is a biological goal in life, but that’s about it.
    You don’t need to have children (of your own) to find happiness.

    And all of that said, assuming that Ada is, in fact, infertile (as has been stated by another commenter), I’ll bet there are tons of orphans to be taken care of once all of this is over.
    So Ada and Rob could have plenty of children, even without relying on this bothersome ‘Sex – Pregnancy – Birth’ stuff the church likes to propagate so much. 😉

    • JW Reply

      Those guys (and girls) cannot produce offspring with their partners.
      Just not possible. Period.
      Does that make them unhappy? Or ‘unworthy’ of happiness? I think not.

      There is often enough a desire to have children though. There are some happy arrangements between lesbian and gay couples that produce biological offspring. Often enough that our government is considering changing laws so kids can legally have four parents to accommodate situations like this (For example it’s a problem if one of these children ends up in hospital and the fathers aren’t considered family and so don’t get the same rights as the mothers.)

      I’ll bet there are tons of orphans to be taken care of once all of this is over.

      I dunno, they’re easy prey.

      • Refugnic Reply

        Doesn’t change the fact, though.
        The only way for them to have children of their own is to have them with someone who is not their partner.

        I will not claim that these arrangements do not exist.
        I will also not claim that they are ‘wrong’ in any way.
        If it works for them, that’s perfectly fine for me.

        As I stated before: They deserve to be just as happy as other people, regardless of their sexual orientation.

        Regarding the orphans:
        Many may well be, but children are small, witty and fast.
        While the parents may well stay behind to protect their children (and get killed in the process), the children may stay hidden and survive.
        Plus, they pick up quicker on things than grown ups, so I’d think that they just might manage.

  4. Crestlinger Reply

    Not the stuff in the foreground she has issue with just beaches and anything to do with the ocean in general.

  5. Rateus Camp dweller Reply

    Does Ada truly know Robert’s dream, or is this her imagination of his wishes?

    • JW Reply

      The mouseover text (now that I finally remember to look at it), suggests the latter.

      • antrik Reply

        It’s a joke. I’m pretty sure it’s not meant to suggest that she really doesn’t know his dream well enough.

        • JW Reply

          Yes, I know it’s a joke. But it’s a joke based on the premise that it’s Ada’s view of what Robert’s dream is, and not a direct insight into Robert’s dream.
          Ada’s a witch, not a mind-reader. So she might very well be mistaken about what Robert actually wants. Sure, given unlimited options, he may or may not prefer a happy family life with Ada. But he probably knows that that’s “not her”, and would therefore rather pursue a different future, one that includes Ada, as opposed to one without her.

          • antrik

            I don’t think the question was about whether Ada can literally see his dream… I might be mistaken of course; but I’d say it was simply about whether her picture is based on actual information she gained from him, or just a guess on her part.

            (Also, even if I’m wrong in my assumption, I’m not convinced we can deduce even that much from the hover text, considering that these do not seem to care about canon at all from what we have seen…)

  6. Klorix Camp dweller Reply

    Bravo! Well played, NI.
    It didn’t even come to my mind that this vote incentive would be part of the story. Especially not in this way…

    • antrik Reply

      Well, I didn’t expect it either… Still, I have to say that having seen the picture before, reading this page made less of an impression on me than it should have…

      • NotImportant Reply

        Yeah, I knew it would most likely be that way, but when I finished the drawing I just couldn’t help myself and went and shared it. I spoiled your fun a little, I know… 😉

  7. Felix Reply

    Personally this idea of Robert’s perfect future (Either in Robert or Ada’s mind, does not really matter) really resounds with me. In a very deep way this typifies my perfect future as well, even down to the beach and the striking resemblance of the cliffs to the ones near my childhood home. While I am going to school for engineering and receiving qualifications to be a pilot, it’s not truly my dream, it’s just what I’m good at. The idea of raising a family and little moments like that that you spend with them is perhaps idyllic, but also I feel resounds with us on a deep level. It may not be everyone’s perfect future, but it’s damn near mine and off the thousands of pages of webcomics, this single panel is extremely bittersweet. Regardless of who is imagining this, it represents the truest loss of innocence in this story.
    Robert is beyond heartbroken at this point and I remember experiencing something not too unlike what he is now, a few years ago. In this moment his dream is lost. For Ada, she clearly cares for Robert, but does not wish to extend that to the romantic. If she is the one imagining the future, she knows (or at least thinks she knows) she just shattered one of the deepest, purest desires of her closest friend. While the apocalypse has been happening for a while, the world just ended for these two in a deep, emotional way.

    • NotImportant Reply

      Thank you for sharing those thoughts, I’m really happy to hear that ♡

  8. Jay Cloud Reply

    I don’t really think that rob wants that, I think its he just wants to BE with her not the “oh lets settle down and have kids and get married” thing. you know, like dating your best friend? but if I’m totally in the wrong please tell me

  9. Archangel Reply

    Oh for God’s sake, girl.

    Are you sure that specific outcome is what he wants? Have you two talked about it? Has he spoken about it to other people that you’ve overheard? Or are you just making assumptions LIKE AN IDIOT?!


  10. Onceller Reply

    I could feel that first frame coming for a good long while… and I gotta say, I am in the “they’ve talked about this” camp. It seems like she’s not just making an assumption. Yeah, I know that might ruin the ship, but I also think it’s better too be honestly unable than to try despite how you feel.

  11. Anonymous Weeb Reply

    OR MAYBE! Has Ada’s mother showed up yet? Coulda died in childbirth / cause Ada to dislike the idea of having kids.

    • JW Reply

      I don’t think anyone’s mother has showed up yet.

      But, I think there are probably far more common causes/reasons not to want children and/or not wanting to date Robert. I mean, I don’t want children or date Robert, and my mom is fine.

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